Monday, February 18, 2013

Monday Rant#1

Can I talk about fat?
I feel like it's one of those things.
Elephant in the room.
Underrated item.
Over sensitive subject.

When you are neither on the skinny team
nor on the other end you end up wondering what
means to most people now.

I've had plenty of conversations with my best friend
and arguments with my guy
that ended up like the following:

And me confused whether or not my extra pounds make me fat.
(I mean Mr. BMI likes to say so.)
And because if I were seven inches taller
with the same proportion and size
I would still not be modeling.
Not because of my face (which alone is a career ruin)
but because models are either really thin to be "straight" size
or about size 10& up to be plus size. 

I would be stuck.

After working up my athleticism I am now somewhere between 
a size 8 or 6.
And am nowhere near my old athletic trimness.
I feel solid now, 
my stamina is great,
and I don't really feel the
sluggish, out of shape,
unhealthy feeling anymore.
I am not where I was a few years back.
Because I am no longer 18
and my body is just not the same.
(I can always be anorexic but that takes too much dedication-
-Nobody kill me for that statement I do not support any disposition that includes depriving your body of its needs.)

Depriving my body to be slimmer is probably going to damage me
as much as overeating.
But I do feel a little bit on the sidelines when it comes to
posts I see that are all about body and self love.

Probably my favoritest British blogger Becky Bedbug 
was recently "concerned that some people may think [she's] not 'fat enough' to do this".

I didn't know one had to worry about this.
Would she be ostracized if she was deemed too thin?
Is fat just a look and not a feeling?
Can one not feel fat or skinny?
Per say in those jeans?

I have heard people being called fat for many reasons.
An old friend who did ballet said she was the fat girl 
in her class once. And I was twice her size.

I definitely believe our distorting use of the word fat stems somewhere from the irrational and fantasy based 
sense of beauty.

The rant was for the idea that I might not be able to do the 
same e-course from the Near Sighted Owl that dear Becky worried about.

I signed up.

So lets see if 'fat' can be empowering, inspirational,
and inclusive.

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