Thought Thursdays #3

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The ever constant goal

The Love Yourself Challenge

March, the month of my birth, I think is a good time to learn to love myself more.

Love myself and love the things in my life I might not notice.

So I think it’s the perfect time for another challenge:

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Begins Now ^_^

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On another note I finally jumped into Instagram! It is quite wonderful.

Makes me feel like a photographer, and since I am poor and don’t have Photoshop or anything close to it…

(Hello paint, my friend since middle school…) it’s also great to give a little something with the filters ^_^

I think I’ll see if I can document the things I loved today on it and share it in compilations here later.

Many things planned for loving myself this month. Many more things to plan! Let’s go March babies!



Monday Rant#1

Can I talk about fat?

I feel like it's one of those things.

Elephant in the room.

Underrated item.

Over sensitive subject.

When you are neither on the skinny team

nor on the other end you end up wondering what

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means to most people now.

I've had plenty of conversations with my best friend

and arguments with my guy

that ended up like the following:

And me confused whether or not my extra pounds make me fat.

(I mean Mr. BMI likes to say so.)

And because if I were seven inches taller

with the same proportion and size

I would still not be modeling.

Not because of my face (which alone is a career ruin)

but because models are either really thin to be "straight" size

or about size 10& up to be plus size. 

I would be stuck.

After working up my athleticism I am now somewhere between 

a size 8 or 6.

And am nowhere near my old athletic trimness.

I feel solid now, 

my stamina is great,

and I don't really feel the

sluggish, out of shape,

unhealthy feeling anymore.

BUT

I am not where I was a few years back.

Because I am no longer 18

and my body is just not the same.

(I can always be anorexic but that takes too much dedication-

-Nobody kill me for that statement I do not support any disposition that includes depriving your body of its needs.)

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Depriving my body to be slimmer is probably going to damage me

as much as overeating.

But I do feel a little bit on the sidelines when it comes to

posts I see that are all about body and self love.

Probably my favoritest British blogger Becky Bedbug 

was recently "concerned that some people may think [she's] not 'fat enough' to do this".

I didn't know one had to worry about this.

Would she be ostracized if she was deemed too thin?

Is fat just a look and not a feeling?

Can one not feel fat or skinny?

Per say in those jeans?

I have heard people being called fat for many reasons.

An old friend who did ballet said she was the fat girl 

in her class once. And I was twice her size.

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I definitely believe our distorting use of the word fat stems somewhere from the irrational and fantasy based 

sense of beauty.

The rant was for the idea that I might not be able to do the 

same e-course from the Near Sighted Owl that dear Becky worried about.

I signed up.

So lets see if 'fat' can be empowering, inspirational,

and inclusive.

Playing Nice with Blogs

#1 First off here's a sketch from the first prompt on a weekly sketch from Run 2 the Wild. She's a very crafty person, honest and friendly; and has an etsy store as well. No, she did not ask me to write any of that. I think what she's doing here with a weekly sketch prompt is cool to get people's creative juices flowing, get to see others work and hopefully meet new people. 

Conceptual Self-Portrait: Warning Very Amateur 

Now I don't know if there was a medium limit. But seeing how I like pens/markers/pastels I used colored pens and markers for my sketch. I gave myself a 10min limit (thus the vacant spaces...) and tried to be conceptual in my portrayal. If you want to check out the other sketches go here.

#2 There is a lil' lady over at Clean Food Creative Fitness who posted last Thursday about never having skinny legs. Now someone who has known me for a long time might remind me of how very skinny I once was but ever since I became an athlete I'd never again had skinny legs. I'm talking high school and beyond. I related much with her about expanding thighs with continuing athleticism and  hating my comparatively massive thighs- mostly in relation to my 5'2" frame. Today I'm an athlete wannabe (as in I want to be athletic again) and I'm on my way! Almost there. So in response to her posing her thighs here are mine. Shield your eyes if you've never seen inner thighs touching! ^_^

That is the almighty Loki. He bows to me only.

  #3 Going on a bit about body is this amazing post from The Militant Baker. It's a little bit about diet, a little bit about health, and a whole lot about loving you. Now per honest, outspoken, and clear view of oneself this girl takes the prize. There have been many posts that have inspired me to be better to myself. So if you want to be a little uncomfortable and a lot intrigued head on over to her blog.